Letter to My Daughters

little ladies

It might be PMS or allergy medication but I’m feeling  overwhelmed by things that I want to say to my little girls when they are a little older. So here goes…

Dear Loves of My Life,

First off, I want you to know that being a kid isn’t always easy. I will try my darndest to never tell you that childhood (particularly high school) is the best time of your life. I think those parents are simply saying, “enjoy life before you have to stress about employment, taxes etc.” What they seem to forget is that childhood is full of worry, stresses and insecurity. I remember, I was there.

I was the kid who handed my mom ten fingernails, meticulously chewed off, on my way out the door to kindergarten. I was the kid who started ditching first grade because of some unremembered anxiety that tore away at me. On that note, should you ever require a mental health day that involves staying in your jammies all day and watching crappy tv, I’m planning on being there for you. Just so you know, you only get two of these per school year so book them wisely.

When you read this someday, my darlings, I will be even less cool than currently am. This is an astonishing thought as I am hardly the poster child for coolness now. But yes, I will get even less so as the years wane. Such is the way. I’m writing this now in hopes that we can bond in a past/future kind of way. As you are so going to look at me like I’m full of crap when I throw all the classic ‘mom’ platitudes your way in the coming years.

Life is an amazing adventure! It is jammed packed with dreams, both realized and not. It is full of hope and expectation. It is riddled with mind numbing possibility and earth shattering sadness. There will be joy so great you think you head will blow off and sadness so deep that you will want to die. That’s the truth and through it all I will love you from the deepest part of my being. You are my babies and you are best thing that I could ever give the world.

Things that do not matter; petty people who try to belittle you and make you feel less-than because you don’t subscribe to their ideals. Designer labels and new cars do not matter. The boy of the minute, that you think you will die if he doesn’t like you back. Gossip does not matter.

Things that do matter. How you treat people matters. It will pave your way in life. Be kind and patient. Be thoughtful of your words before you let them out of your mouth.

My love for you is the greatest gift I can give to you. I will always have your back and I will always fight for you, even if I sometimes have to fight against you to succeed.

Be true to yourself, whoever that may be. I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, thin, fat or if all your clothes are tie-dye (although I will probably try to talk you out of that one.) You are mine and you are perfect!

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6 thoughts on “Letter to My Daughters

  1. I loved this. For Molly’s 10th birthday, I had many of her friends and family write a letter to her to include a memory of her now and their prediction of what she will be like when she grows up. We are going to give these letters to her when she turns 22 about the time she graduates from college. Matt and I both wrote letters to her also. It’s been such fun to read what everyone has to say. These are wonderful words you have written, and so true. I feel honored to know you!

  2. Whit, this is beautiful. Wish I’d done this for my three. I might suggest that you run this stuff past a proof-reader before you hit “send”. I’d do it but I’m told I’m a spelling Nazi. You’d wind up hating me. Let’s see, is there anyone we know who’s a writer???

  3. I truly love your letter to your daughters. It is beautiful and spot on. I especially love the tie-dye part – because my youngest son has an affinity towards it and I despise it. I try to let him dress his own way, but I cringe a little when he comes downstairs in the tie-dye.

    Alas, I cannot let your letter go without adding a bit of advice of my own. Not as flowery and lovely as yours, but timely in my life with a recently turned 13 year old boy. Here is my recent advice to my oldest, who just turned 13:

    (A) The only things that can go in your nose are (1) your finger (which, yes, it is gross and I’d rather not see you do it, but as long as you wash your hands after, I can live with it) and (2) nasal spray (doctor prescribed only – that over the counter stuff can be addictive, I hear) {this advice comes after he told me about kids at the lunch table “daring” each other to sniff the lemonade powder that you are supposed to put in bottled water – I had to explain the dangers of sniffing a vast and wide array of things – gasoline, glue, nail polish remover, drugs, etc.}

    and

    (B) Never, ever, ever, ever, never, never, never, ever EVER allow naked pictures to be taken of you. They will someday be posted on the internet and your life will be a disaster. And NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVEREVERNEVEREVER take a naked picture of someone and do anything at all with it. AND NEVER EVER NEVER EVER to INFINITY forward any naked or seminaked pictures that someone texts or emails to you. Your life will be OVER as you know it. You could be a registered sex offender for life. It seems funny or silly or whatever to see these picture and pass them along, but it’s not. EVER. {And this lovely life lesson came about after his friend somehow squeezed his knee cap and took a picture of it and sent it to a girl. The picture somehow resembled his derriere (don’t ask me how), and he ended up being suspended. For a naked picture of a kneecap.} NEVER do anything that resembles nakedness and post it on the internet.

    xoxo. Enjoy ’em while they’re young. Everything is so much more serious when they get older.

    • Brilliant advice, Lisa!!! I wish I came up with the naked pictures bit… but I’m printing our all the comments and will be sure to let my girls know that this part came from a particularly wise woman that I call “friend.” xo

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